Is Love Really Harder After Fifty?
The airwaves are filled with stories about love this Valentine’s Day as they are every other year. And I wonder why it is that “love after 50” is considered such a daunting and precarious thing. It always strikes me as odd when I hear people talk about the dismal prospect of finding love later in life. As if the desire to give and receive love somehow dies after our 40’s end? It’s absurd. If anything, it should be easier at more mature points in life because we’ve had more time to learn how to be in a relationship and understand it – and ourselves.
It’s unfortunate though that we are conditioned (some might say brainwashed) to fear age. And worse is that part of the fear comes wrapped in the threat that “older” is not lovable. But think about that for a moment. Something subconscious is surely going on there that is tied to reproduction, fertility, youth and beauty. But love really has nothing to do with any of that. Of course, it’s nice if they should happen to overlap, but they are light years away from having a cause-and-effect relationship. Love is about how we feel inside, but it is also about the lens through which it was presented to us and learned. For that reason, love will rarely be the same for everyone, which is often what makes it so difficult – at any age – but the need for love itself will always be central to the human condition.
Now, there is one subset of older people who may find themselves “love-challenged” in their golden years. For those May-December folks getting older narrows the pool of acceptable candidates by a lot. Sad for them, but for everyone else, the people who choose to progress through the stages of life naturally and gracefully, there will no doubt be someone else doing the same.
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